Lawrence Novita

9:55 PM

Story of My Life : Why Do I Look Mad ALL THE TIME?

Welcome back to my blog! :D Lately, I've been getting mad easily I don't know why. I feel so irritated even by a slight mistake. Been nagging a lot as well. Wait, nagging is my nature. It's not that I want to nag and I know I am soooo annoying. But have some people thought just how annoying they are to me that I can't help but nag? LOL. I never take anything seriously though! Just let me nag and I'll be relaxed. The next 5 minutes I'll be fine like nothing has happened.*lol* Ok I'm using the word 'nag' too much now.

Alright this post, I must say, has completely nothing to do with my current mood or my nagging ~~ability or~~ habit. It just suddenly popped up in my mind that I wanted to write it although I'm not in the mood to write (lazy to be exact). I must have been crazy to nag in a blog post, don't you think?

Honestly, I've finished writing everything in this post for days now but I truly don't have enough confidence in me to let people read something that you're gonna read here because .... it just sounds a little bit personal and I don't want to treat a blog as an online diary. If you followed my previous posts, does my blog sound like it already? HAHAHA. Anyway, this is gonna be a random yet interesting (?) babble where I wanna talk about my personal experience that sometimes become a problem and I'm quite certain that tons of people and probably you, who is reading this, face the same problem as me.

I realized having this mad look during high school years. There were times when I and my best friends chit chatting about random stuff including sharing each other's impression when we first met. I was somewhat surprised to hear them telling me something like, "When I first saw you I thought you were arrogant. You just never smiled!" I was all like, really? What did I do wrong? The same thing happened when I attended a local college here to continue my studies. This time I wasn't surprised being told how I looked mad when we first got to know each other. They thought I was this arrogant nerd who talked to nobody. And of course, advised me to smile more.

Me 24/7? | credit

I've always loved making new friends, you know? I love adding new people in my life circle. The problem is, I can never make the first move no matter what even just some small talk. I'm awkward and will always feel like it. What makes it worse is, I have mad face. Geez. Then I will have some people giving me bad first impressions when they first see me as always that I'm used to hearing it now. In fact, once you get to know me I'm crazier than what you would think about me. It's true that I'm more of a listener and don't talk much unless I really know you but I love joking around too! Talking about some random stupid stuff and all.

Being judged how mad, upset, annoying, arrogant, unfriendly, angry, sad, grumpy, ~~etc you NAME it~~ I looked, at first was not a big deal. I was cool with it and I still am. But somehow I gotta admit that the more I hear it, the more it starts to annoy and slap me hard. HAHAH. I mean, it saddens me because it's something I cannot change. I can't imagine how even uglier I look with that bitchy resting face. I don't hate it when people advise me to smile more but I'm tired (or sick?) of hearing it. How do you expect me to smile when I'm reading a book with my neutral mad face while in fact I am feeling nothing but focusing on the book? How do you expect me to smile when I'm sitting in a restaurant waiting for my food? How do you expect me to smile when I'm standing in line for a movie ticket? I must be crazy. LOL. Smiling is an activity that takes energy, no matter how tiny it takes. Call me exaggerating this but, have you scolded your friend for taking too much time to snap your picture that your teeth start to dry up for smiling too long? You feel me? *puppy eyes*

I wish I didn't have to force a smile on my face when I meet new people so that they won't get me wrong. I don't know what I can do about it. Perhaps by make up? :/ What I really wanna say is that, it's just my face. It will stay like it when I'm chill as hell. I can assure you that I'm NOT one of those girls who acts cute, sweet and all you will find out there but I'm really nice (although nag a lot) once I know you.

Do you have any advice or tips for me?

7:06 PM

August 10th: Finally 22

How is everyone doing? I'm writing this in a good mood since it's raining outside! Fyi, it's been hot, dry and dusty for the past 1 or 2 weeks without a drop of rain. Blah .. it's like summer all year long in Indonesia. Tropical country's problem.

First of all, I know that I should've blogged about this days ago but my lazy self kept procrastinating everything. Besides, I had to rest more and sleep earlier though I always end up going to bed every night at 11.30PM and regret it the next morning. I've been out of energy these days. xD

Ok, let me tell a little story..

When I was a kid I often got invited to a friend's birthday party in the neighborhood. The parents prepared the foods, cake, balloons, souvenirs and even clowns to build up the party atmosphere. Then we would be singing, playing games, eating the always-exist-on-birthday Nasi Kuning and get ourselves a souvenir before going home. Does any of you remember? Nevertheless, these all never happened to me as my parents never really had time for us due to work. I had never had birthday cakes before until I turned 13 or 14 yo, my first cake ever (my second one was on my 19th birthday) and it wasn't from mom but my aunty. Loooong time ago there were times when mom would just cook some foods for us without the presence of birthday cake. I mean, what is a birthday without a birthday cake? Kids love those pretty cakes! Thus, I'm not used to / into celebrating birthday or having party. It feels awkward. But .... I gotta say that those (celebrations) I had this year must have been the most memorable ones in my 22 years of life.

Well, you know I'm not a kid anymore ~~and so lazy~~ and having a DIY or formally organized party is not my thang. I repeat, I don't like parties. Just a small dinner with some special ones will do. I never really celebrated my birthday in a special way, so this year I decided to summon (Why did I use this word?) up my friends at Terasky to have a dinner. It's a restaurant located on the 8th floor of Transera Hotel. Our first time having dinner at a rooftop restaurant so the place was kind of special. The ambiance was cozy and romantic with nice view, suits perfectly for couple dinner. The waitresses were hella nice and polite in taking orders. Good service is all that matters for me! As for the food, they didn't have many menus for you to choose. I'm telling you two of them, Ayam Bakar Nusa Dua Bali and Bloody Aloe Vera. Yes, these were what I ordered. Pardon me.